This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize