It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
