Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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