My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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