I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
