Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
