It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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