Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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