I'm really into asian looking animals
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
