my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
So much rum. So many feels.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
