I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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