Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
