She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
