it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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