do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize