I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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