Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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