Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
