Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
