well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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