No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
