Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
