I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
