So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
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