She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
