The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
soo... how was my night?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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