i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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