What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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