I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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