Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
The adults are the big ones right?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
