Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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