so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
