If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Randomize
