we have pet lesbian snakes
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
