You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
