I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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