I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I need a beard to bite.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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