In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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