uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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