i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
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