kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
