My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
