it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
