Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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