dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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