he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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