His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
