i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
