No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize