last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
