He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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