I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
