I didn't shave. On purpose
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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