Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
