rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
