even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Randomize
