Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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