Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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