if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize