member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
