I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize