Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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