she was so not down for the gang bang
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
