be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
