i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
