He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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