it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
