Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
