so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
