Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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