My girlfriend figured out who you are.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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