I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
